|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A
disgruntled Sci-Fi Channel viewer vents about a classic British
thriller. "Dark
Shadows of Spookiness?" by Tom Bastian The
Sci-Fi Channel has been showing Dark Shadows, the British-made horror
show from the days of 2 color television (that’s black & white,
kiddies), and one has to wonder why. I wondered why, so I decided to
wonder with words. These words. So
what is the deal with this show? It looks like it’s from the Kinescope
days of television (unless this is the farthest British TV quality has
gotten so far?), and from what I can gather, it’s supposed to be
scary. Of course, like most Americans, I find the British inherently
scary with those unsettling accents and the…teeth. But that doesn’t
explain this show. Does the
simple fact that it looks so dark and dreary make it scary? Or is it the
endlessly long camera shots that follow the actors all over the one-room
set? What is that all about?? Save some film, get a second camera! The
Honeymooners was a classic show, with basically one main set, and they
had another camera, but that was a comedy. I guess British “horror”
like Dark Shadows uses the following camera shots to build suspense,
which probably worked in those days, but to us modern folk who’ve been
spoiled by fancy editing, it’s like waiting for a red light to
change!! Get on with it! Quit pacing around, yacking about the moors,
and wondering about who done it, and show some action! Action other than
fake lightning showing through the windows and frequent visits at the
front door by the local chimneysweep or gravedigger (with shovel in hand
naturally) looking for work. Guy needs to dig a hole for this show and
spare the 21st. Century the trouble. I’m surprised Sci-Fi doesn’t show Doctor Who. That’s British, with lots of talking and cheesy sets, and the infamous Daleks rolling around looking for something to “exterminate” with those threatening toilet plungers! (Let loose a couple of these Plungerdroids on the Dark Shadows set, mate!) Plus the show had that evil gnarly dude in the armored wheelchair. What was his deal? Roids? Bad teeth? Or just cranky? Although if Sci-Fi hasn’t shown it yet, it must mean PBS is still clutching their Doctor Who load. Just in case Sam Raimi or Tim Burton make a feature film based on it! (starring Keanu Reeves of course) It’s like when an old song is remade and the oldie stations play the original into the ground. But until then, we’re stuck with Dark Shadows; just cause some geek-ball programmers at Sci-Fi love it, or more likely, cause they got a “killer deal” on the rights. The only good thing about Dark Shadows is that videotape doesn’t last forever. God help us if it’s been saved on DVD. How many future generations might have to watch this show, and still not get scared? “Be bored, be very very bored.”
|
